If You Need Me, I Will Be At My Other Job Painted White & Modeling as Fat David in a Garden Near You

Chitunga took off to Rhode Island for the 1st phase of 5 CPA exams, and I went online looking for world's ugliest lawn statues, where I found Fat David and instantly thought, "My God, I should get white body paint and start a part-time job for myself." I would so be willing to stand almost naked in people's gardens on weekends, only to move when they got very near and when I could scare the @#$@ out of them.

I need to amend the almost naked, however, as I would like to get a white leaf facial mask, too, to protect myself from any gathering in a garden this summer where people spit-talk, cough, sneeze, and drool.

Still, sick and tired of the same ol' thing, I do believe I could make a nice side-career as fat David standing outside this or that home. A couple hundred bucks for a few hours, I could be like those people in major cities who pretend they are statues for a living (sad for them these days...I doubt they're getting much work...their hats must be empty).

My runner's legs, however, throw off Fat David a little bit, as I'm much odder looking when I stand around in my fig leaf (or is that an Oak?). My girth is waste up.

Where will you find me this weekend? On Amazon looking for white body paint. TGIF. Can you tell it's week 6 of Young Adult Literacy Labs? I'm already exploring additional careers because I'm exhausted. I love everything I do, but am in need for a different scene for a while.